As I sat in the MRT on the way to church for a retreat, I started flipping through the Bible.
I have never ever read through it systematically. Even when I was reading His Word more regularly in the past, I read randomly, relying on His Guidance to point me in the right direction. Doesn't sounds like a good way to read, but it works, strangely...
The book I read this time round was Judges. Judges in ancient Israels rule and guide the Israelites, like a king of some sort. Okay, I better get to the point soon. The book of Judges relates how the Israelites betray their covenant with God time and time again. God's wrath was brought onto them, they were conquered by their neighbours. They led terrible lifes under the yoke of foreigh rulers and when they could not take the suffering, they repented and asked for forgiveness. Each time their prayers were answered and were rescued by God.
It seems that painful memories never lasted long. Years after their rescue from tyrannical rulers, they forget their punishment and repeat their old mistakes. Somehow, I feel that I am in the same shoes as they are. Sigh. Many times I have done wrong, asked for forgiveness and repeated the same vicious cycle as the Israelites. God has been lenient to me though, I didn't get conquered by evil school mates or bullied by my neighbours.
Friday, 7 September 07, 7.15 p.m., my only thought is, I want to break free from this shitty vicious cycle.
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